The main thing that has happened up on the land recently is Andy has been clearing out dead trees and cutting them into pieces. The hope is if the workmen ever come back they will haul them away for firewood.

When people ask Andy how it is going he says, “It’s imminent. And it has been for the past six weeks.” Even he is starting to get impatient. We’ve now lost six weeks of great weather and passable roads. The story has been the contractor is working on getting quotes, but now Andy is ready to start pushing a bit. We’ll have to see how it goes.

In the meantime we received an email from the kitchen designer saying the prices for the cabinets will go up 2% on June 1st. She now has a new supplier for the counter tops and doesn’t think the prices will change that much–she will check when we’re ready to sign a contract. I’m not sure how we can get a firm bid from the contractor without little pieces of information like that, but to quote one of our favorite sayings, “They didn’t ask me.” I’m staying out of it. I’ve got enough to do learning how to use new techniques in Photoshop. It’s more fun than waiting for other people.

Is there anything imminent in your life right now?

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Do you ever get the feeling the world is like the Titanic, about to experience a great catastrophe? Do you agree with Sir Cadogan in Harry Potter?

Have a stout heart, the worst is yet to come.

I sometimes feel that way, but I was also frightened when I was a kid by the threat of nuclear war with the U.S.S.R. I can still remember the feeling of terror after watching a public service announcement on TV. It vividly showed what an attack would be like.

That particular threat is long gone, of course, so who knows what the future will bring? It doesn’t make much sense to be like the woman in these cartoons, ruining the present moment worrying about things we have no control over.

Stone Soup, gocomics.com. For larger image click on picture.
 

Stone Soup, gocomics.com. For larger image click on picture.

 
What do you think?

When all the trees burn up we might as well enjoy the view.

Click on picture for larger view.

Apparently Washington is wondering if it should help shore up the bank but is worried about the political backlash. Well, yeah. The idea sure does rattle the bars of my cage.

What do you think?

We’ve talked about waiting before, but it was mostly about how we spend our time when we have to wait for an appointment or for a meeting. The consensus was we have effective strategies for using that time wisely instead of feeling frustrated. I cheerfully admit, though, I wouldn’t do nearly as well as the Chinese stuck in a 100-km traffic jam that as of this writing has been going on for about 11 days. Apparently it’s moving along at up to two miles a day and the drivers aren’t showing any sign of the road rage that would be breaking out here in America.

I thought that was bad until I read about the 33 trapped miners in Chile, who might be trapped for four months before they are rescued. They will be given food, water and other supplies, and the government is asking NASA for strategies to keep the miners from going bonkers during the wait.

Yes, I cheerfully admit l would not be good dealing with those long waits. If you were trapped in a 500-square-foot space for four months with 32 other people, what do you think you could do to keep your sanity?

One thing they will be doing is to try to stay in shape. For safety reasons the rescue shaft will be only 26 inches in diameter, and if they want to get out they need to be able to fit.

For a long time my favorite fortune was

You have a great capacity for learning from your errors. You will learn a great deal today.

When I first read that I thought, “Oh, Oh! That doesn’t sound good.” But after thinking about it for a while it reminded me of the Zen master Dogen. When asked how he reached enlightenment, he said.

It was just one mistake after another.

The breakthrough for me was when I finally…for the most part…stopped thinking in terms of mistakes and errors. If we get our egos out of the way, we’re free to think in terms of skill development and feedback.

For me that doesn’t always mean jumping into situations where I’m over my head…although I have done that. It also means taking the mastery approach to skill development:

• deciding what skills I want to develop,
• committing to working on them,
• and finding a way of getting feedback as I learn those skills.

For me it also means finding a way of enjoying the process…that’s the only way I’ll keep my commitment. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

This subject is especially relevant to me right now because I’ve just bought the Nintendo Wii Fit. It’s a bit expensive, but it lets you measure your body mass index, balance, agility, etc. And it calculates your “Fit Age”. I thought I was in reasonable shape because I spend at least a half hour a day on my NordicTrack treadmill or jogging trampoline… plus I use the weight machines at the local Y every other day. I spend only 10 to 15 minutes per visit on that, but I figured that was enough to keep myself in reasonable condition. Well, not quite….

My first Wii Fit age was four years over my chronological age because I hadn’t been doing anything on balance and agility. That was enough of a shock to motivate me. So I’ve been doing some Yoga with my Wii personal trainer and also playing some balance/agility games…. my “age” has dropped a lot in just three days. I’m still not doing well on the balance/agility games, but I’ve never been athletic and I am making progress…and it’s fun.

I’m not trying to sell the product to anyone else…the important thing is Nintendo understands motivation. It’s devised a way to make the process enjoyable, even addictive, and it lets us chart our progress. If we’re motivated by competition (I’m not) we can even compete against other people in our household. Not surprisingly, playing with my Wii has added more spice to my life. It all goes back to the optimizing stress curve:
 

We need a certain amount of challenge in our lives to stay mentally healthy…to feel fully alive. So I’ve rewritten that old favorite fortune to eliminate all references to errors and mistakes:

Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.

That’s my new favorite fortune. Please share yours.

This picture shows the current Nils Olav, mascot and honorary member of the Norwegian King’s Guard, making an inspection in 2005. He has just been promoted to Colonel in Chief, and the band on his right flipper holds the badge showing his rank.

Permission, Royal Norwegian Consulate General.

Olav…now Sir Nils Olav because he was knighted on August 15th…lives in the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland. He and the Guards are continuing a tradition started in 1972, when the Guards adopted a king penguin at the zoo during a visit to Edinburgh for the Military Tattoo, an annual musical festival. They visit the zoo and give Nils a promotion every time they return to Scotland. (When the current Nils dies he’s replaced by another penguin who inherits the name and rank.)

More pictures of the 2005 event can be seen at the Norwegian Embassy and Consulate General site. A BBC video shows the 2008 knighting ceremony.

What does this have to do with Stress Management? It’s a great example of Stress-Hardiness Trait #5 :

They are reasonably optimistic and have a sense of humor. Even though they are dedicated to doing things well, they don’t take themselves too seriously.

Clearly the guardsmen, the dignitaries that attend the ceremonies, and King Harald of Norway…who ordered the promotion to knighthood…are playing their part well. And they’re definitely not taking themselves too seriously. They’re making this poor old world a friendlier place and reminding us to take ourselves a bit more lightly. I, for one, am grateful.

What about you? Do have some reminders to lighten up in life?

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
—e.e. cummings

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.
—Yiddish Proverb

I’ve used this picture and these quotes before, but I can always stand to be reminded. I’ve even been putting “Laugh out loud at least 5 times a day” on my Possibility List. I mean, how hard is it to say “ha, ha, ha, ha, ha” or “hee, hee, hee, hee, hee”? In fact, “hee, hee, hee, hee, hee” works best for me, because it forces my mouth into a smile, and I do notice the change in my body and spirits.

But, you might say, that’s not really laughing. We only really laugh when something strikes us as funny. Not so. It works the other way, too. If you laugh a lot you start seeing more humor in life, just like smiling can often change our mood.

In Cut Stress By Anticipating Laughter? Kelley Colihan says, “OK, take a deep breath. Now put your hand on your belly. Imagine your stomach jiggling, as if you are starting to laugh. You may have just taken a step toward reducing stress hormone levels.” One study has shown that merely anticipating a laugh can lower our level of stress.

My husband and I tend to laugh a lot, but it never hurts to keep ourselves tuned up. And that really paid off the other night. I was getting ready for bed when my husband came rushing in, saying, “Jean, there’s water all over the kitchen floor! I turned the faucet off and drained the sink, but we have to mop it up before it drips on our downstairs neighbor!” He was right, of course. I did mutter a short, “Good Lord, Jean!” to myself, because I was the culprit, but then I thought of my Garmin and said, “Recalculating. Recalculating.” I got out some sponges and buckets and we started to mop up. That didn’t quite work…it was like trying to bail out a boat using a tablespoon, so I got out two plastic dustpans and we used the sponges to sweep the water into the pans, which we emptied into the buckets. That was a lot faster.

Once we had a system that would clearly work, we started joking and having a good time. I’ll obviously try not to let the water run over again, but realistically there’s no way to promise. So we bought a water alarm that will go off if I do forget. Our motto is “Do the best you can with what you’ve got.” And if that’s not good enough, get some help. It’s a lot more fun to lighten up and enjoy life than to worry about our imperfections. As I said in last week’s post: we don’t have to be perfect to be awesome.

What about you? How do you lighten up when little things go wrong? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Robert and The Constant Skeptic for commenting on last week’s post.

Thanks also to Square-Peg Karen for her posts, especially the recent one entitled You Smell. It definitely made me laugh out loud.

1. The StressEraser.

2. Screen Shot of a Stressful State.

3. Screen Shot of a Relaxed State.

The relaxation response is a physical state of deep rest that changes the physical and emotional responses to stress…. [it is] the opposite of the fight or flight response.
—Herbert Benson, M. D.

In my last post I mentioned I was experimenting with a biofeedback device called the StressEraser. It’s been helpful if I wake up tense in the middle of the night. Even better, it helps me sleep more restfully if I use it just before bedtime. It has also made me more aware of my breathing during the day, especially when I catch my breath … literally forgetting to breathe. I’ve been doing that surprisingly often. The big difference is I notice it now. That’s a big payoff for the small amount of time I’ve been spending with the device…averaging about 15 to 20 minutes a day.

What It Measures
What exactly does the StressEraser do? It uses an infrared detector to measure the the tiny changes in your pulse rate, which it displays as a wave. These changes are related to the state of your nervous system, so you can tell when you are becoming more or less relaxed. Figure 1 shows a screen shot of a person in a stressful state (notice the ragged graph and all the single squares), and Figure 2 shows one of a person in an ideally relaxed state. My waves aren’t that regular even when I’m getting good marks (3 squares) for being relaxed, but I can definitely see the difference.

Why It Works For Me
I’m a visual person, so I appreciate being able to see…right away… what’s going on. I also love to experiment, so I haven’t only been following the recommended procedure: focusing on my breath and counting how long it takes. I’ve been trying other things, like chanting, slowly saying affirmations while exhaling, etc. With the device I can see how my organism responds, and it turns the process into a game. It also lets me see which techniques work best for me.

And, as I said, I’m much more conscious of my breathing during the day. The StressEraser has taught me to notice how I’m exhaling. I used to think I had to take slow deep breaths to calm myself, but the device has taught me that all I have to do is exhale slowly and completely. If I expel all the air in my lungs, inhaling will take care of itself.

Would I Recommend It For You?
If you’re interested in a portable biofeedback device I would suggest reading about both the StressEraser and another device called the emWave at amazon.com. Read the descriptions and also the reviews from people who have used them. The devices are expensive and do require some commitment. Also different things work for different people, so I personally would buy one only if I could return it within a reasonable time period, usually 30 days.

Even if you decide against buying one of the devices, I would recommend experimenting with your breathing. If you focus your mind away from stressful thoughts and gradually start breathing at a rate of less than 6 1/2 breaths per minute, there’s a good chance you will easily slip into the relaxation response. At least that’s the way it works for me!

What about you? How do you calm yourself when your life starts to become hectic? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Images by StressEraser.

Thanks to bikehikebabe and Ellen for commenting on last week’s post.