Do you ever get the feeling the world is like the Titanic, about to experience a great catastrophe? Do you agree with Sir Cadogan in Harry Potter?

Have a stout heart, the worst is yet to come.

I sometimes feel that way, but I was also frightened when I was a kid by the threat of nuclear war with the U.S.S.R. I can still remember the feeling of terror after watching a public service announcement on TV. It vividly showed what an attack would be like.

That particular threat is long gone, of course, so who knows what the future will bring? It doesn’t make much sense to be like the woman in these cartoons, ruining the present moment worrying about things we have no control over.

Stone Soup, gocomics.com. For larger image click on picture.
 

Stone Soup, gocomics.com. For larger image click on picture.

 
What do you think?

The quality of our lives depends on how we focus our energy and our attention.
—Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People

So when our place in the mountains burned down June 26 and we were kicked out of Los Alamos the next day, it was a no-brainer. We had been thinking of visiting my sister and family in California for a long time, so we went. It was a heart-warming visit and a better use of our time than worrying.

Experience helps. During the 2000 evacuation we waited in Albuquerque for two days, then decided to drive to Montana to take Andy’s mother out to dinner for her 91st birthday. That’s another trip we’ll never forget.

We got back Tuesday afternoon and are now dealing with the fact that Andy still can’t go up there until the fire is contained. But we are starting to talk to our insurance company and to an architect to see what our options are, assuming we want to rebuild now that the trees have all burned. In the fullness of time. I will no doubt be writing more about it either here on at Cheerful Monk.

Have you had any adventures lately?

What about you? Do you think forgiveness is a lovely idea? Do you agree with Lewis that most people do?

The quality of our lives depends on how we focus our energy and our attention.
—Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People

We all seem to agree that it doesn’t make sense to worry about things we have no control over. What do you focus your attention on instead?

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This cartoon tickled me, but I don’t really believe it. For one thing, sometimes patience represents hope rather than despair…say when we grow a garden or raise a child. Some of the most worthwhile things in life can’t be rushed, they take time.

And there are no guarantees. Sometimes things don’t go the way we hope. After we’ve done all we can and the situation is out of our hands, we just have to let it go…either temporarily or forever. And focus on keeping it from poisoning the rest of our lives.

My daughter is in that boat right now. She and my son-in-law are trying to remodel their house, a major undertaking that was supposed to start on May 3rd and hasn’t started yet. They were finally through most of the hurdles (financing and building permits) they thought, but the changes in the plans someone in the local authority had told them to make turned out to be illegal. So they’re back to Square One on the building permit. This is two months after moving into their rental house, which means more money going out the door with nothing to show for it.

My daughter is an effective, can-do person, so this is especially hard for her. But because she is so effective she will wind up handling it well. She has plenty of other things in her life to focus on until it’s time to deal with this situation again. Yes, it’s hard, but stress-hardiness techniques do work.

What about you? Have you ever been in a situation like this?

Robert Hzurek’s writing challenge this month is What I Learned From Love. So why do I add the “and stress-management”? Because warm, fuzzy feelings are a great antidote for stress. They certainly work for me.

Last week I tried using humor to deal with my outrage about the financial executives getting huge bonuses on the taxpayers’ dollars. I added the captions to the bird picture and it did help lighten my spirits.

But what helped even more was reading about how dogs also hate unfairness. I’m a sucker for dogs…just looking at their pictures relaxes me and lifts my spirits. And reading the article reminded me of a time when I was training some dogs over at the local shelter. I had several of them in the outdoor run and was teaching one of them to sit. As soon as I said, “Sit,” two others came over and dutifully sat next to him…all lined up neatly in a row…looking expectantly for their treat.

So I repeatedly went down the line, giving each of them a little treat in turn. They all continued sitting and for the most part waited until I got to them. Occasionally one would lean over, his rear still firmly on the ground, and try to get his mouth in front of the recipient’s. But as soon as I said, “No, it’s not your turn yet,” he would sit up straight and cheerfully wait. They understood about fairness.

Just thinking of that incident lifts my spirits and makes me smile.

Update: The above was written days ago. Yesterday Obama announced limits on executive compensation for firms that take taxpayers’ dollars. I clearly did the smart thing in letting the powers-that-be know my opinion and then switching to more pleasant and healthful emotions.

What About You?
What antidotes do you have for stress? How do you switch your energy and your attention when it makes sense to do so? (Trait #2.)