Entries from April 2008 ↓

The relaxation response is a physical state of deep rest that changes the physical and emotional responses to stress…. [it is] the opposite of the fight or flight response.
—Herbert Benson, M. D.

In my last post I mentioned I was experimenting with a biofeedback device called the StressEraser. It’s been helpful if I wake up tense in the middle of the night. Even better, it helps me sleep more restfully if I use it just before bedtime. It has also made me more aware of my breathing during the day, especially when I catch my breath … literally forgetting to breathe. I’ve been doing that surprisingly often. The big difference is I notice it now. That’s a big payoff for the small amount of time I’ve been spending with the device…averaging about 15 to 20 minutes a day.

What It Measures
What exactly does the StressEraser do? It uses an infrared detector to measure the the tiny changes in your pulse rate, which it displays as a wave. These changes are related to the state of your nervous system, so you can tell when you are becoming more or less relaxed. Figure 1 shows a screen shot of a person in a stressful state (notice the ragged graph and all the single squares), and Figure 2 shows one of a person in an ideally relaxed state. My waves aren’t that regular even when I’m getting good marks (3 squares) for being relaxed, but I can definitely see the difference.

Why It Works For Me
I’m a visual person, so I appreciate being able to see…right away… what’s going on. I also love to experiment, so I haven’t only been following the recommended procedure: focusing on my breath and counting how long it takes. I’ve been trying other things, like chanting, slowly saying affirmations while exhaling, etc. With the device I can see how my organism responds, and it turns the process into a game. It also lets me see which techniques work best for me.

And, as I said, I’m much more conscious of my breathing during the day. The StressEraser has taught me to notice how I’m exhaling. I used to think I had to take slow deep breaths to calm myself, but the device has taught me that all I have to do is exhale slowly and completely. If I expel all the air in my lungs, inhaling will take care of itself.

Would I Recommend It For You?
If you’re interested in a portable biofeedback device I would suggest reading about both the StressEraser and another device called the emWave at amazon.com. Read the descriptions and also the reviews from people who have used them. The devices are expensive and do require some commitment. Also different things work for different people, so I personally would buy one only if I could return it within a reasonable time period, usually 30 days.

Even if you decide against buying one of the devices, I would recommend experimenting with your breathing. If you focus your mind away from stressful thoughts and gradually start breathing at a rate of less than 6 1/2 breaths per minute, there’s a good chance you will easily slip into the relaxation response. At least that’s the way it works for me!

What about you? How do you calm yourself when your life starts to become hectic? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Images by StressEraser.

Thanks to bikehikebabe and Ellen for commenting on last week’s post.

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. —Vicki Baum

 
TangoPango. Creative Commons.

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
—Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Socrates learned to dance when he was seventy because he felt that an essential part of himself had been neglected.
—Anonymous

Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
—Anonymous

 
a4gpa. Creative Commons license.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
—e.e. cummings

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.
—Yiddish Proverb

OK, take a deep breath. Now put your hand on your belly. Imagine your stomach jiggling, as if you are starting to laugh. You may have just taken a step toward reducing stress hormone levels.
—Kelley Colihan, WebMD Medical News

A lot is going on in my life right now…nothing earth-shaking, and most of it fun. But I’ve been easily startled by noise and have been feeling “nervous”. So I looked in my bag of stress management tricks and have been experimenting with some of my favorites:

• Singing and dancing,
• Laughing out loud, and
• Using a biofeedback device

The device I use is called the StressEraser (I don’t get paid for this plug, but it does work for me.) I use it at bedtime to sleep relaxed at night, and to check how I’m doing during the day. As I said, I’m experimenting to see what works best for me. I’ll let you know what I find out in next week’s post.

In the meantime, what about you? What techniques do you use? What are your stress secrets? Please share your experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe, Robert, Mark, and Jackie for commenting on last week’s post.

Clairity. Creative Commons license.

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.
—Anonymous
 
 
The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen.
—Anonymous

This month the topic for Robert Hruzek’s group writing project is What I Learned From…Odd Jobs. Robert wants to hear about the strangest, most unusual job we’ve ever had. Since I’m a volunteer at heart, I’m not restricting myself to activities I’ve been paid for. I figure if it was something that required commitment for a reasonable length of time, it counts.

My most unusual job, then, was listening to an acquaintance for at least two hours a session, two or three times a week for several months. The woman in question was in her late 60s, had worked most of her life, and was facing retirement. It was time for her to move on, but she couldn’t imagine what she would do without work to structure her life. So she tackled the problem by talking through it. And when I say talking, that was it. She wanted no comments or other interruptions from me. My job was simply to listen the whole time.

MicheKerr. Creative Commons license.

If you’ve ever been in a situation like that, you know how hard it is to be just a listening post, with all of your own experience, thoughts and talents pushed aside. I sometimes felt I could easily have been replaced by a tape recorder or by a friendly pet.
 

How did I get into that situation?
I didn’t expect it to be like that. I assumed she would be thinking on her own and wanted someone to bounce ideas off of. That’s what works for me. I find changes are more fun when I try things and share the results with someone else. When I discovered she didn’t want that, I did try to make the interaction less mind-numbing for me. I actually brought a timer and suggested we take turns talking and listening. That idea lasted about ten minutes. Then she ignored the timer and kept talking.

Why Did I Continue?
So why didn’t I just call it quits? I asked myself that question more than once, and the answer was always: it felt like the right thing to do. The sessions were clearly doing her a lot of good, so I decided to keep going until she had made her transition. She wasn’t talking for the sake of talking, she was seriously working towards something. The process wasn’t going to go on forever. And, in fact, after several months she was started in her new life. She signed up for some courses at the local university and became involved in causes that she cared about.

What I Learned From the Experience
What did I learn? I learned how much I care about making a contribution, something to make this world a slightly friendlier, more loving place. I had always believed that one of the best ways to do that was to listen deeply to another person. But after this experience I learned that I have to pay attention to my own interests and talents, too. So I started looking for situations where I could be more than just a warm body, a listening post. I’m not at all sorry I had this experience, but I don’t feel obligated to ever do it again. Instead I’m living by my motto,

Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.

There are all sorts of ways of making a contribution. And there’s no rule that says you can’t have fun doing it.

What about you? What has been your most unusual job? Do you have an urge to make a contribution? If so, how do you go about it? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe for commenting on last week’s post.

This post is also part of Marcus Goodyear’s Lessons From Odd Jobs group writing project.

Activities like knitting and crochet can cause a relaxation response similar to meditation.
—Knitting for Stress Relief

Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.
—The Cheerful Monk

I used to love to knit, but I haven’t done it for years because it hasn’t integrated very well with my present lifestyle:

Still, I’m about to go on a trip which will involve a lot of sitting. So that eliminates the first reason. And…I’ve discovered Knitting for Charity. I was especially taken by the Mother Bear Project, which provides homemade stuffed bears for African children with AIDS/HIV. What better reason to knit than to show a child he/she is loved?

With permission, Mother Bear Project.

To simplify things I’ve ordered a complete kit for one of the bears. So I not only have a chance to knit again, I have a chance to make this poor old world a slightly more loving place. I can’t pretend I’m being altruistic…projects like these soothe my nerves and warm my heart. But hopefully I’m not only giving myself a double dose of happiness, I’m giving some to someone else too.

What about you? How do you give yourself doses of happiness? Do you find it increases when you share it? Please share your thoughts and experience in the comments section.

Thanks to bikehikebabe for commenting on last week’s post.