Entries from November 2007 ↓

Stepping Out of the Stress Trap

November 25th, 2007 — Stress Trap

Preparing for the holidays is a great time to practice our stress-management skills. It’s easy to slip out of our optimal stress zone into being overly stressed…where we feel frazzled, waste energy in nervous tension, and lose our effectiveness. I slipped into this state this past week…I had an attack of the “hurry sickness”, that stressful feeling that there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it. Taking action doesn’t make the tension go away…when I’m working on one thing part of me is worrying about the ten other things I’m not doing. I have this feeling that I have to move faster and faster to keep up.

To me that’s a signal to step out of the stress trap. My favorite strategy right now may seem strange: I start by getting on my Nordic Track treadmill and play some Sudoku. On first glance that might seem like a time waster, but it works for me. It stops those racing feelings in my mind by focusing on something else, and the physical activity releases the tension in my body. (I’ve fixed up a stand on my treadmill to hold reading material/puzzles, so I can also use my arms in the exercise.)

Once I’ve cleared my mind and relaxed my body, I get out a pencil and some paper and write down my “possibility” list…all those items that have been going through my mind. I look at each one and decide where to put it in my time-management system:

Do it,
Delay it,
Ditch it, or
Delegate it.

The question I ask as I look at each item is “What do I do with this in the spirit of the season…with feelings of love, joy and generosity of spirit?” Once I look at the list from that viewpoint, the answers are usually easy.

So that’s my strategy. A friend of mine does something similar, only she brews a hot cup of tea and listens to music as she makes her list. And some people have the opposite problem, their problem is loneliness rather than too much to do. What about you? How do you handle the holidays? Please share your experiences in the comment section.

Monkey picture by amateur_photo_bore via Flickr. Creative Commons license.
Sudoku photo by psd via Flickr. Creative Commons license.
Photo of girl writing by youngdoo via Flickr. Creative Commons license.

Thanks to Galba and bikehikebabe for commenting last week.

Related posts: The Stress Trap, The Stress Trap Redefined.

4 Comments

Successful Optimism

November 18th, 2007 — Stress Hardiness

The way to success is often messy. We need determination and optimism to keep us going.
—Jean Browman

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.
—William James, 1842-1910

Which attitude gives us the best chance of success in life?

Always think positive thoughts and the universe will reward us.
It doesn’t matter what we do, things will turn out badly.
Things won’t always go the way we want…challenges are bound to come up, but we can handle them.

Not too surprisingly, the answer is #3. In spite of all the talk these days about the law of attraction, studies show that successful optimists don’t expect life to always go smoothly. They know bad things sometimes happen, but they think of themselves as problem solvers. They tend to work longer hours each week, save more, expect to retire later in life, eat healthier food, get more exercise, and are less likely to smoke. They have a long-term view of life and believe in enjoying the journey. It’s no surprise, then, that they tend to be healthier and live longer…as well as have more fun.

What can we do to be successful optimists? My approach is to eat a healthy diet, get a reasonable amount of exercise, and keep working on developing the traits of stress-hardiness. What about you? What’s your approach?

This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in the comments section.

Photo by ZMB via Flickr. Creative Commons license.

Thanks to everyone who commented last week: Joanna, Alex, Brad, Galba, and bikehikebabe.

5 Comments

What I Learned From Being Downsized

November 11th, 2007 — Lifelong Learning, Optimizing Stress, Stress Hardiness

I’ve been studying/practicing personal development most of my life, and got into stress management about 16 years ago, when my husband and I were both threatened with downsizing. It was scary, but also one of the happiest times of my life.

My husband and I worked in different divisions of the same company and drove to and from work together. When we got in the car at night we would share stories about the latest idiocies of management and laugh. And we would discuss our options for the future. It was a shared adventure.

I take full credit for marrying someone who would do well in a crisis. I cheerfully admit this doesn’t sound very romantic, but if you believe marriage is for the long haul, not just temporary excitement, pick someone who will weather adversity well. You won’t be sorry.

Anyway, we both liked what we were doing, so we decided to make the most of our present jobs while they lasted. I had been working about 60 hours a week and dropped that down to 40. I had a lot of autonomy at work, which I loved, so I kept developing my writing, programming and people skills. In my new free time I joined a second Toastmaster’s Club and became certified in NLP (neurolinguistic programming).

When I looked around the division I asked myself one of my favorite questions, “What’s the opportunity here?” The answer, of course, was to become an expert in stress management. So that became another part of the adventure.

As it turned out, our jobs lasted another couple of years, when we were offered great severance packages. By then I was already prepared for my next great adventure, teaching/leading groups in stress management.

So, what did I learn from the experience?

Be optimistic and have a sense of humor

Always keep learning and growing

Be patient and bide your time when it’s appropriate

Generate new ideas and opportunities for yourself

Enjoy the adventure of life and have friends to share it with

What about you? What life lessons would you like to share? This site is about sharing, so please tell us your thoughts in the comment section.

Picture from The Daily Puppy

This post is being submitted to Middle Zone Musings´ What I Learned From . . . Group Writing Project.

19 Comments

Living More Fully

November 4th, 2007 — Stress Hardiness

The quality of our lives depends on how we focus our energy and our attention.

The little girl in the picture isn’t conscious of her wet and messy hair. She’s absorbed in the moment, enjoying the passing scene. She’s fully alive in spite of the rain. And that’s what this site is about, living our lives more fully.

But, you might say, she’s just a kid, obviously well cared for, with no responsibilities. Why shouldn’t she be having a great time? So let me ask you this: were you happier being a kid than you are right now? Would you go back to those days? I sure wouldn’t. Having the freedom to make my own decisions is part of it, of course. But as a kid I hated being a victim of my emotions. For me the best thing about being an adult is the ability to use my emotional energy wisely.

Buttons still get pushed…and that’s just fine. One of the most important things I’ve learned in life is that emotions are just energy, to be used as we choose. How do we use it wisely? The title of this blog is Transforming Stress Into Personal Power, and to me stress is emotional energy that is harmful rather than constructive. Personal power is having a sense of meaning, direction, and purpose in life…and the ability to express that purpose in the outside world. It’s knowing deep in my heart that what I do makes a difference.

So how do we transform negative emotions into positive energy? I’ve been teaching that for the past 14 years in the form of stress management. One of the basic tools I’ve developed is the Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People. I’m reasonably certain these guidelines have made a difference in some people’s lives. I know for a fact they’ve made a big difference in mine.

What about you? What do you do to live life more fully? Do any of the traits resonate with you? Do you think developing any of them more fully would make a different in your life? My posts are meant as food for thought, designed to encourage sharing. Please tell us your thoughts in the comments section.

Picture by MShades via Flickr. Creative Commons license.